Tired Learning
Life lessons are not some mythical concept only reached at the top of the highest mountain. They can be learned from anyone, anywhere, at any time. I am currently in the midst of one such lesson I thought I learned already. My bodies physical limits. Tuning in and listening to your body is not an easy thing to do. I tend to ignore mine on most days. This is something I am working towards improving. Self awareness if you will. But not just when my mind needs a rest, but when my body needs one.
Sometimes you don’t realize your limits until you have reached them. This is one of my favorite ways to learn because of its concrete nature. You know exactly when you cross that line. There are no maybes involved. At the end of today, all I can feel is the longing and desire for rest. A feeling that eludes me most nights as I lay restless trying to force mys myself to sleep at a reasonable hour. Being physically exhausted at 8pm is a wonderfully unfamiliar feeling. I will be working on getting to this point more often.
Even when my body has given in, my mind still remains. At this level of consciousness it functions on a lower level but continues churning nonetheless. These thoughts I am having are the only thoughts you can have at a time like this. The kind that contain pure emotion. If you ever wonder why people seem drunk or surprisingly honest when tired it is because emotion is often all that remains. I will try not to get too sappy here but I can say that I no longer possess my heart. Yes the muscle is obviously still beating, but its emotion has moved elsewhere.I love where it has gone and I cannot wait to follow it. I know no one reads this but it is still hard to put into words when I know there is a possibility this may hit others eyes. But that was the whole point of doing this so here it goes.
- Have I followed my heart before? Yes.
- Did it work out well? No.
- Did you learn from it? More than I could have possibly imagined.
I would not be the same person typing here today if those limits were not reached and I did not fail. I am stronger because of it and I will never regret the decisions I made to get me here. I have never been in a better place in life than I am today. And I feel that way every time I wake up now. That would not have happened without failure. No one is ever ready for the new challenges that are brought into their lives but that is what makes this whole adventure so grand. The delusion, the despair, the downfalls, and the delight of learning from them all. Everyone has to fall to learn how to get up. And those stories are often the most motivating and inspirational of them all. There are thousands of quotes about going through failure, but I will leave you with something Sinatra (amongst many others) sang so smoothly I almost missed it.
“If you want the things you love, you must have showers.” – Pennies from Heaven