Friends
“Our judgements are but a mirror that reflect the insecurities of ourselves.” JFM
Too often I find myself judging others. Not because I want to, or think that it’s the right thing to do, but because it’s what I’ve been trained to do since childhood. I would really like to stop this nasty habit of judgment. Like other habits in life that I want to change, the first step is becoming aware of when it’s happening. Once you can actively see yourself doing something you want to change, you can begin to make that change happen. When I find myself judging others, I like to take a moment to acknowledge what’s happening, so I can begin to stop the process.
Everyone is different. We all have our own reasons for doing what we do, I don’t expect people to understand why I wear one long sock, write every day, or live out of a van. And in turn, I don’t try to understand why someone else wants to work in a cubicle, drive a four wheeler around, or listen to heavy metal. Everyone finds joy in different places and it’s not my job to tell others how to live their lives. If they want to smoke cigarettes or run a marathon, it’s not for me to say that’s right or wrong for them.
What I do have control over, is how I act. Leading by example is something that I an odd revelation about on a recent road trip to southern Utah. Driving down Highway 6, I had the pleasure of seeing not one, or two, but three people on separate occasion, peeing blatantly by the side of the road. Not trying to hide their actions, not ashamed of what they were doing, simply owning it. This gave me confidence to pull over and relieve myself the next time I saw fit. Not seeking shelter, or privacy, but letting loose when nature called.
The point I’m getting at with all this public pee talk, is that it’s easier for you to believe you can do something after you have seen someone else do it. I think it would be incredibly difficult to learn a second language in under a year. But if I watched a close friend become fluent in Portuguese by next spring, I know I could do the same.
This is why having people around you that challenge themselves is so important to personal growth. When your five closest friends are people who are stagnant and comfortable in their lives, you too are bound to fall into the same state of stagnation. But when you associate with a different crowd, one that pushes their boundaries on a daily basis, you’re odds of reaching new heights are greatly increased. Challenging yourself and your friends in healthy competition is an amazing way to grow. It makes the tedious task of learning a difficult skill seem fun and exciting. Something mundane instantly gets a fresh coat of paint and becomes vibrant and intriguing.
For the first time in many years, I feel like I am starting to find people who are willing to push themselves in uncomfortable ways for the sake of growth. Challenging themselves because they want to improve their futures. These are my people. I need to find more of them, and spend more time with the ones whom I’ve already met.
Good friends, who share similar beliefs in life are hard to come by. They add tremendous value to your life because they are constantly pushing themselves while being a beacon of inspiration to push yourself in return. You must be willing to challenge them to do new and exciting things as well. It is this beautiful back and forth that forges the bonds of friendship for a lifetime.
Cheers to finding fulfilling friends who will further your future self.